Over the last year or so, I have undergone one of the most painful and revealing times of my adult life. Our efforts to plant a church have proven only temporarily fruitful. We planted a church, but the church did not survive.
I guess this is what most church planters feel when their efforts do not produce a church that lasts longer than a few months or years. It's difficult to put into words, but one phrase that captures a lot of it is second guessing.
"Is there something wrong with me?"
"Did I really receive a call to plant this church?"
"Is this mostly my fault?"
"Is this what the 'minor' prophets felt like?"
"How in the world does this fit into God's plan?"
The list goes on and on. In fact, I'm thinking about writing a book filled with just the questions that are in my head at this given moment.
I'll leave you with what I wrote at the end of my last newsletter:Two and a half years ago, two men and their families came to Lafayette with a dream and a calling for a church family. Through heartaches and jubilation, I have journeyed through the process of church planting with no church and fewer friends to show for it. I know the LORD has done great things in the lives of others and has transformed things that I cannot see, but it still seems like such a loss. Even in that "I will rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and the help of the Spirit of Jesus Christ this will turn out for my deliverance, as it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death." Even though Paul wrote this from prison and I'm far from that, this is one of the hardest things I have walked through. Thank you to all who have walked it with me. I am better because of you. The LORD is glorified because of you.
By the way, could one of you Photoshop-ers make me an image of a nice gravestone with "Vox Church RIP June 1, 2005 - May 9th, 2007" on it? I'd like to post it here, but don't have the means to make it.
UPDATE: Kent Caperton has come through for me. It's a little spooky, but I appreciate it, thanks bro.
No more Vox Church
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2 comments:
Drew, that is sad but I am encouraged by your outlook on the situation. I know the questions are many and the jubilation is in short supply sometimes, but GOD is who He says He is. He loves you and has not forsaken you. Love you bro.
Hey bro,
this does not mean failure, just simply redirection. God's call in one's life is the fuel to press on regardless of the path.
the "call" is the burning bush experience that dictates and encourages our life journey. the "call" is what never leaves us when others or circumstances abandon us.
the "call" is the one on one communion with our God. it is a large portion of what drives the intimacy of our relationship with Him. He who calls us will always be faithful. "i will never leave you nor forsake you"
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