scared to run

All I have to say is, "Jed, you wanna go outside with Aspen?!" He gets so excited, and immediately he yells her name [her calls her "Oh-ca"] as we all three go outside. But something funny happens as we begin to play outside.

It plays out like this: Jed runs and yells for Aspen. Aspen catches on and begins to run after Jed. When Aspen catches up to him, Jed begins to cry because he's half-way terrified of her jumping all over him. I say "half-way terrified" because he's also half-way excited to play with her. He likes it and he's scared of it. [notice in the picture how his feet are up on his bike, not near Aspen at all]

I'm the same way. With Vox Church, I want to run: I want to do well, see lives redeemed, grow spiritual families, and plant hundreds and thousands of churches through this movement.

But I also get scared. When other people start to run with me, I get very nervous. But I don't fear the usual things like failure, starting over, or even how it will be seen by others. I think I'm afraid that this won't actually work. The half of me that's terrified is due to the fact that I've never seen anything like this. I've never seen a church do this, much less here in Lafayette. I still sometimes doubt it will work. How's that for a confession...

Before everyone goes nuts on me, let me point out that if I doubt something, I also believe it. I strongly believe in what Vox is doing, but I have my moments of doubt, too.

Happy Friday.


Sean Walker said...

I think you just showed what cards you're holding. (mike bibby/pair of 2s/the grove) There's nothing more attractive to me as a follower than an honest and at the same time bold leader.