To have an estranged dad is something that I've lived with for a large part of my life, but I'm coming to grips with it in ways I never expected.

This evening, I went to a graduation party for a friend of mine. At his party, his dad spoke. And his dad isn't the kind of father who just gushes when he talks about his sons in public. You can tell he loves them, he just doesn't wear his heart on his sleeve. But tonight, he really let everyone see how proud he was of his sons. He gave them honest compliments and showed pride in them; he just showed his love for them to the 50+ people at that party.

After the party, Kristy and I rented "In Good Company," and part of the movie portrayed a young man a lot like me. As the movie went on, this young man encountered an older man who unknowingly showed the younger man what it meant to be a man. At the end, they embrace and it almost made me weep.

I think this is how people end up missing a father they never really had. I've described it before as shadowboxing. It's like you're fighting off an unidentifyable enemy.

Maybe having a bad father is actually worse than having an absentee one, my Father's Day wish is still the same: I'm asking God for a father.


Lafe said...

Now I see why you had a hard time getting to sleep...Thanks for the comments on my blog, the feeling is mutual. I also hope you enjoyed the movie, it has a great soundtrack too.

And I hope your Father's Day prayer comes true...

Sandy McCann said...

Following your journey...I'm not a dad (of course)...but I am proud of you Drew for what you are doing! Here's hoping God (your never absent father) will send you a father in human form...just keep your eyes open as this father will be what God intends and you may need a really open heart to see him!