running on about 4...

...hours of sleep, that is. The bright side is that the dialogue is prepped for Sunday morning and I'm free to get ahead a little. With advent on the way, and planning for January through June, it's good to get a little breathing room.

Many people have been asking lately, "How's Vox?" Since I'm a masochist, I can't just say, "good," and offer up some mushy answer to placate. Currently, I'm doing exhausted. People that I trust [even people I don't trust] have been whispering in my ear that the elders need to give stuff away. That's easier said than done, but I know that as we fulfill God's plan for us to be a family, we need to trust our people and spread the responsibility.

And I think that's the issue, I know the organic church answer, but sometimes I doubt it. I struggle to believe that something I've never actually seen with my eyes is possible. Even on a personal level, believing that God could create something in my life that is healthy is an act of faith for me.

I'm probably the most schizophrenic cynic I know, bouncing between doubt and hope all the time. It actually makes the story of our church coming together and becoming a family that much more amazing. Take a borderline bi-polar elder, add Dallas, mix in a few people who have grown disgruntled with the church status quo, and voila, you have a church. I don't think this formula will make it in any church planting journals, but there's some peace in knowing that.

In all this, I don't despair at all. I have full confidence that God will bring us together as a family, but I still sweat it, you know? I guess it's hard to explain.

I realize I haven't blogged in a while but silence can be golden at times.