bending under the teaching

Sometimes the best and worst thing in the world is to get what you want. After much hunting and struggle, I came to understand I was made to, among other things, teach. Teaching is probably one of the primary things I enjoy doing. I never feel more alive than when I'm in the throes of teaching- preparing, studying, building points, weaving discussion, actually speaking what I've prepared. I absolutely love it. Now that I'm doing it every week though, I'm beginning to feel the weight of it, in a good way.

Because of this good weight, I'm actually beginning to understand why people go to seminary. Don't get me wrong, I'm not signing up today, but I think I'm moving from ignorance to understanding on the issue, as this process of teaching the Scriptures takes its toll on me.

To think that there were (are) people who devote their whole lives to memorizing, studying, teaching, meditating on, and listening to the Scriptures is very overwhelming and inspiring. To not engage in all of that, every bit of it, almost seems to be flippant with centuries of heritage that people, in some cases, died to carry on. All those men and women who faithed that the Bible is the breath of the Living God spent their lives in hopes of others encountering the same beautiful, majestic presence of God that comes through His Voice.

And yet, teaching from the Scriptures is something that even those just beginning to walk with God can do. Knowing that it is God who works and wills through us and not our own volition, definitely takes the pressure off to try and "make" the Spirit of God do anything. With that, I, along with every believer, am charged to study the Sciprutres, meditate on God's law, pour over the Bible in search of God Himself.

In short, I am gifted to teach, and now it's coupled with responsibility. This together is propelling me toward craving to know the intricacies of the gospel and the depths of God. Man, just describing that makes me tired.