Land of Broken Hearts

To the peeps at Land of Broken Hearts, a very cool Switchfoot fan site, thanks for sharing my Switchfoot musical series with your readers. Two more are coming soon, I promise.

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Switchfoot musical - fourth movement

I've determined that my life is a Switchfoot musical. It sounds completely insane, but every time a new Switchfoot album comes out, it's very reflective of things that I am going through at the time. These are the various movements of my life through their six albums...

The Beautiful Letdown
release date: 2/8/2003
when I discovered it: 2/7/2003

This was the first Switchfoot album I get as a pre-released because I was anticipating it so much. Since it came in the mail, Kristy got to it first and she had the first song playing right when I walked in the door. After a moment or two to realize what was going on, I laid down on the floor right there and listened to the entire album while looking at the lyrics.

"fumbling his confidence and wondering why the world has passed him by... hoping that he's meant for more than arguments and failed attempts to fly" -Meant To Live

Fighting with laziness has been a recurring theme in my life. Before this time in my life, my laziness really didn't affect anyone but myself, and that worked just fine for me. This season served as a turning point for me when I became a lot less lazy, mainly because I had a lot more riding on my actions than before.

"we are a beautiful letdown, painfully uncool, the church of the drop-outs, the losers, the sinners, the failures, and the fools ... oh what a beautiful letdown, are we salt in the wound? Hey, let us sing one true tune" - Beautiful Letdown

2004 was a year of dismantling for me. Upon the birth of my first child, Jed, I found a new freedom to critique what I adhered to. I took apart many things to see what was inside of them, including the Church, myself, family, the whole bit. This quote gave me such hope, knowing that "easy living" wasn't the end goal and that God used letdowns all the time was life to my bruised soul. This quote still gives me hope. 2004 was the year I began thinking about the church God wants. It wasn't until a couple of years later that I ventured out and started something. When I lose my way on this journey, I can hope that Vox Church is a beautiful letdown, striving to sing one true tune.

"twenty-four finds me in twenty-fourth place ... twenty-four voices with twenty-four hearts, and all of my symphonies in twenty-four parts, but I want to be one today ... and I'm not who I thought I was twenty-four hours ago, still I'm singing, 'Spirit, take me up in arms with You.'" - Twenty-Four

The feeling of being unwanted goes with the territory of leaving an establishment. It's painful and feels somewhat like betrayal - not for the faint of heart. Although I didn't technically leave the Grove until March of 2005, the separation had already started in my heart, and this song was my dirge, my farewell speech, and my heart's cry all in one. So much change happens so fast when you're in that kind of transition. Most times, it was all I could do to say, "Spirit, take me up in arms with You" and not lose myself in the madness.

"I have no generation, show me my motivation, one world, one desperation, one hope and one salvation... we've been blowing up, we're the issue... we're ammunition, we are the fuse and the ammunition." - Ammunition

Social commentary is one of the strong suits of Switchfoot lyricist Jon Foreman. I believe he nails our Western culture in this song. I began to see some of the same things, even among the Christian culture, that did not stand in line with Jesus' teaching. I saw so much of our [my] own problems stemmed from sacrifices I was unwilling to make and stand I was unwilling to take.

"yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead, yesterday is a promise that you've broken, don't close your eyes, don't close your eyes... this is your life, are you who you want to be?... is it everything you'd dreamed that it would be when you were younger and you had everything to lose?" - This Is Your Life

Upon hearing this song, I made a promise to myself that I always wanted to answer this question, with all honesty and integrity, with "Yes, this is my life and I am who I want to be." Growing up without a mentor / hero usually made it hard for me to stand on my own. So approaching my life with confidence wasn't my norm. 2004 was the year I grew a backbone and began standing for what I believed, even if I was the only one. It's still scary, but I'm so glad God matured me in this way.

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Switchfoot musical - third movement

I've determined that my life is a Switchfoot musical. It sounds completely insane, but every time a new Switchfoot album comes out, it's very reflective of things that I am going through at the time. These are the various movements of my life through their six albums...

The Legend of Chin
release date: 06/17/1997
when I discovered it: early 2002

Even though this was their first album, I didn't dig into until later. Underwater was the very first song I'd ever heard by Switchfoot, but I didn't realize it was them until much later. My first impression of this song [and of Switchfoot] was that their lead singer sounded like Kermit the Frog. Funny.

"nothing but a chemical in my head, nothing but laziness, 'cause I don't wanna read the book, I'll watch the movie, 'cause it's not me, I'm just like everybody else my age" - Chem 6a

Fighting with laziness has been a recurring theme in my life. Before this time in my life, my laziness really didn't affect anyone but myself, and that worked just fine for me. This season served as a turning point for me when I became a lot less lazy, mainly because I had a lot more riding on my actions than before.

"I can see the stars from way down here, but I can't fall asleep behind the wheel... it's a long way from the shadows in my cave, up to Your reality to watch the sunlight taking over" - Home

I always pictured this part of the song, coming from a cave and being engulfed by the sunlight rising. During this time in my life, so many things changed: Jed was born, I switched jobs, Kristy and I considered buying a house in Fayetteville, I started blogging, and I was exposed to the emerging church for the first time. I had many moments where I was having trouble figuring out who I was in this new life that was growing in and around me.

"take away from me, this monstrosity, 'cause my futile thinking's not gonna solve nothing tonight ... ask me for what am I living, or what gives me strength that I'm willing to die for" - Life And Love And Why

I overthink many things, and that's usually followed by overtalking many things. This is a great reminder to me that Jesus is a person who loves me, and not a concept to be thought through and expounded upon. To me, "life and love and why" seems to sum up so much of what I think about. That's why I put it at the top of my blog.

"I pray to be found... grow, grow where you are, anchor your roots underneath, doubt your doubts, and believe your beliefs" - Ode To Chin

I don't know who Chin is, but it seems like Switchfoot lost a bet and had to name their debut album after him.. and include an ode to him in the song list. The simplicity and direct nature of the chorus always struck me as perfectly sound reasoning, and that was at a high premium during the winter of 2003 when my life turned upside down.

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Switchfoot musical - second movement

I've determined that my life is a Switchfoot musical. It sounds completely insane, but every time a new Switchfoot album comes out, it's very reflective of things that I am going through at the time. These are the various movements of my life through their six albums...

Learning To Breathe
release date: 09/26/2000
when I discovered it: October 2000

When I worked for East Bayou, this album was played underneath a slide-show that the youth put together as I was leaving. This was a time of great transition for me, both in life and in vocation.

"welcome to the fallout, welcome to resistance, the tension is here... between who we are and who we should be, between how it is and how it could be" - I Dare You To Move

I got married two months after this CD came out. And like any newlywed couple, we had our moments of tension between expectations and reality. And like any newlywed couple, making the first move toward reconciliation makes a good groove in a young marriage.

"in the economy of mercy, I am a poor and begging man, your currency of grace is where my soul begins... where was I when the world was made? I'm lost without you here... you know my name when the world was made" - Economy Of Mercy

As I was trying to understand my place in the world, this song helped to shape my worldview: God is first and foremost among anything I could ever conquer or deliver. For a guy who battled to stay humble, this was a good reminder. These words are ingrained in me to this day.

"is this fiction? is this fiction? Hope has given himself to the worst, is this fiction, or divine comedy, where the last of the last finish first?" - Living Is Simple

This album was a downer of sorts. There weren't that many songs on it that just grabbed me like the previous album, and it would be three years until they released another album. During this time, living was hard and I had a lot of growing up to do.

"oh, Erosion, would you wash away my sin? oh Erosion, I need a second start again, oh Erosion, would you break my heart again? oh Erosion, I am a broken-hearted man" - Erosion

Throughout my engagement and early part of my marriage, I struggled with pornography. There were many times where I was calling to Erosion to wear me down and break the calcified sin around me.

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Switchfoot musical - first movement

I've determined that my life is a Switchfoot musical. It sounds completely insane, but every time a new Switchfoot album comes out, it's very reflective of things that I am going through at the time. These are the various movements of my life through their six albums...

New Way To Be Human
release date: March 23, 1999
when I discovered it: Summer 1999

As I was a summer missionary in Deer Trail, CO, I picked up a random CD sampler disc called "Simply Excellent" that had "New Way To Be Human" as its first song, and the rest is history.

"under the floor, between me and the door, there's a presence I cannot deny... and I'm certain that He's near me, He listens even as I sing my song..." - Under The Floor

My life was consumed with major choices: graduating college, getting engaged, moving out, getting a promotion. I can vividly remember understanding that God was near me in a significant way, protecting me and guiding me with amazing clarity.

"sooner or later, you'll find out there's a hole in the wall, sooner or later, you'll find out that you'll dream to be that small... I gave it all away and I've lost who I am, I threw it all away with everything to gain and I'm taking a leap with dreams of shrinking..." - Sooner Or Later

I began actively rejecting other people's plans for my life, even the American Dream as I knew it. This song, along with Company Car became my anthems for this period of my life.

"it's my birthday tomorrow, no one here could know, I was born this Thursday, 22 years ago, and I feel stuck watching history repeating, yeah, who am I? just a kid who knows he's needy..." - Let That Be Enough

I also turned 22 in the Fall of 1999... on a Thursday no less. And at many points during that Fall and Winter, as I struggled to leave behind the ghosts of my past, I often felt stuck watching my mistakes on repeat.

"with all of our fashions, we're still incomplete, oh God of redemption, come break our routine... redemption begins with a new way to be human" - New Way To Be Human

Healing and redemption were major themes for me during this time. I had a major breakthrough in my walk with Jesus, and these lines rang with my victorious days.

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